Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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