there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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