about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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