he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I understand Curling. That high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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