1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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