I feel great
I just peed on a car
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
