Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
