Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
