We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
