well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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