Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
