Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
