A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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