i permit you to call me
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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