I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
