The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize