so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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