I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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