it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
