who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
