ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
