Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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