The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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