This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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