No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
