I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
