Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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