Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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