College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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