its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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