Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
