Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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