I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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