dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
