No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
