I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
