Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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