i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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