I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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