Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
