New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize