PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
my poor anus
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
