What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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