Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
