just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cannot find my penis.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
