Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
