The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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