What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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