Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
