just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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