I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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