the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
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Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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