i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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