thus making me awesome and them whores
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
