Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
