Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
