She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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