oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
