dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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