6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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